Loch Fyne Whiskies - Scotch Whisky Review

So what’s rattled my cage during the summer months I hear you ask. Well, just about everything. Pension scandals, accounting trickery, obscene bonus payments... the usual fripperies of Corporate big business. Then a letter arrived from Harvard and I can do no more than to quote the first paragraph:

“Dear Harvard Business School Alumni,

Nearly every week, it seems another tale of corporate misconduct is uncovered. As the reports increasingly make clear, an unsettling number of business leaders apparently have put their own motives and profit before integrity. In so doing, they have undermined the trust and harmed the well-being of their employees, communities, and investors. At the same time, mounting evidence indicates the possibility of systemic flaws in our processes of governance and compensation as well as our accounting standards. As a result, the faith of people around the world in the economic system that forms a crucial element of our society has been damaged.”

And so it went on... you get the drift... Solution was, of course, a set of workshops exploring the complicated issues underlying leadership, values and corporate governance, and to work toward new frameworks of thought and action in this arena.
So that’s OK then… somebody’s looking at it. The fact that it was probably the same crowd who arguably planted the seeds of greed and financial re-engineering in the first place by churning out smart business consultants… I think possibly the irony was lost on them.

I worked for an organisation that was keen on bonus payments. Indeed I benefited from them myself over the years. What I could never understand however was why I would do a better job with a bonus than I would do for a basic salary. Did the organisation not take me on to do a proper job for a fair reward on an ongoing basis?

It is always interesting that irrespective of when a major whisky company’s financial year ends, the production end of the business has to brace itself for an upsurge of orders. It is even unlikely that the whisky will actually reach the market it is intended for within the specific financial year, but as long as it is on a boat or even a quayside that’s probably sufficient to constitute a “sale”— thus ensuring some country manager has exceeded his no doubt soft budget target and thus triggered a better bonus payment as a consequence. It’s not that you, the customers, have necessarily taken cognisance of your supplier’s year end and/or changed your drinking habits accordingly!

In the last organisation I worked for one individual actually pulled the pipeline loading stunt two years in succession… for which he was duly rewarded. A change of senior management—probably advised by Harvard graduates masquerading as Business Consultants —then decided that high in-market stocks tied up working capital and one of the bonus measurements that particular year would be driven by the amount of stock managers could get out of the system. Yes, you’ve guessed it... our man scored again! Thanks to his foresight—or greed—the previous two years (for which he had already been rewarded) he scored a hat trick of bonuses! Own motives and profit before integrity? You bet!

Now that I’m on a roll, let’s move closer to home. I read with interest the opinions of that ever growing band of whisky writers... and yes, the irony of the situation is not lost on me. I would point out at this stage that I don’t actually make a living from this!

Whether specialist Whisky Magazines, colour supplements in weekend newspapers, web-site and TV appearances, or the latest book by whoever is in vogue at the time... it is fascinating to look at what is being churned out. There are of course the good scribes; knowledgeable, informed, witty, and independent. And then there are the others... and I have to wonder if they have any idea as to what they are about.

I read a review of Black Bottle in one of the weekend supplements recently. Our “expert” left me wholly confused as to whether the blend was indeed a blend, or a vatting of various Islay malts, or a vatting of malts generally. I’m damn sure he hadn’t a clue either and had been given a steer by some marketing type who was probably equally unsure as to what the particular product contained. I well remember similar confusion years ago with the mighty Bell’s Islander... no-one seemed very sure whether that was a blend or a vatting either.

It seems reasonable that the public at large should be able to rely on the “experts” to help educate them—assuming of course that the public don’t necessarily believe what the brand owners tell them! If the “expert” is truly independent—and honest—the reader can, and should, make up their own mind as to whether they value the opinion of the “expert”. But what if the “expert” establishes some credibility as an opinion former and is then retained in some capacity by a company. Should he declare an interest? Arguably, there is little harm in an “expert” being associated with a particular company. Where I struggle somewhat is when I see the same “expert” extolling the virtues of competing products, sometimes on successive days! Or stating that his all time favourite whisky is Glenwhatever, whilst in another publication alluding to much the same thing with a completely different product! Call me a cynic but... I then find that on the strength of something nice having been written about a product, the producer of that product then employs or retains the services of the “expert” to lecture to in-house marketeers that the product they are selling is good because the “expert” says so... so get out there and build on that! It seems to me the industry is paying for a service—by the hour or by the day—which gets me back to my title.

It’s cash for questions, it’s lobbying gone mad, it’s part of the corporate sleaze that is suddenly high profile again. If we can’t trust the independence of the whisky scribes, who can we trust?

So come on guys, let’s have a breakdown of retainers paid, percentage of income from writings as against endorsements, cost of trips paid for, freebies received. A register for us all to peruse. Copies of web-site endorsements—English or Japanese versions! You’ve nothing to hide... have you?

I’ll even start the ball rolling myself. Income from whisky companies : 100% Diageo Pensioner. Income from writing: the odd beer from the editor and a few kind words now and then. Availability for endorsements, sleaze, free holidays, trips to Japan... speak to me. I may even say something nice about your product!