Loch Fyne Whiskies - Scotch Whisky Review

First, of course, the title. THE SCOTCH WHISKY REVIEW—weighty, authoritative, pretentious. Only those of us who receive the bulletin—this means you, Dear Reader—are aware of how flimsy is its format, how ephemeral. An example of the 1990s ‘New Brutalism’ school of amateur desk top design. All of which makes it highly collectable. Have you got a complete set, from Spring 1994? No? Too bad. You could—mine will be auctioned (complete with the envelopes the copies arrived in – an important consideration for true collectors) by Bonhams, sometime in the distant future for a very large sum.

And think how pleased we writers are to be able to style ourselves as contributors to THE SCOTCH WHISKY REVIEW; how proud I was to be described as ‘Scotland’s foremost whisky writer’ by THE SCOTCH WHISKY REVIEW—a citation I have used on several publications—thanks Richard!.

But while the format is flimsy, the contents of the SWR are the very opposite: reliable, engaging, good humoured, opinionated—even polemic at times. Fearless.

LAYOUT
The Editorial structure of the SWR has remained more or less constant:

• Editorial (of which more below);

• Interview of a leading figure in the whisky trade. The trade now regards an invitation to be interviewed as the equivalent of appearing on Desert Island Discs and interviewees are encouraged—indeed required—to be unusually candid in their comments. Where else have you read an industry executive claim “We are up a tree with our bottoms showing”?;

• Turnbull Hutton, former industry supremo and relative newcomer to the SWR but immediately part of the ethos “Don’t say we’re not cutting edge. And don’t expect me to provide any answers. Hell, I’m The Advocate—I just pose the questions”;

• Contributions from a ‘Who’s Who’ of whisky writers and industry professionals covering a wide range of topics: the personal—Michael Jackson on what he does for his holidays—Is that all you do?; technical matters—Roger Jones the yeast manufacturer—Speed and Violence - the magic of yeast; historical— Robert Haydock—Argyll’s forgotten Whisky Barons; whimsical—Gavin Smith considering the proper use of the apostrophe in The Angel’s Share; or news-related matters—Dave Broom on wood finishes—A chequered history. The subject matter is largely left up to the writer;

• Trade and Bottling News, where Loch Fyne Whiskies displays its current stock, special offers and recommendations—it’s easy to forget otherwise that this is a commercial publication—there’s stuff to buy, (including the quite excellent Loch Fyne blend);

• New Customer Pages—frequently asked questions with clear answers and a guide to independent bottlers, a section that reveals an ongoing recognition of the need to educate customers, both novice and experienced alike, of the fascinations of Scotch.

RANTS

Some of the best stuff in the mag is found in the editorial first column. Known in the trade as ‘Richard’s Rant’ it’s a splenetic, but also supportive, comment on current movements in the whisky trade.

Here are some of my favourite examples:

• [on the closure of Bell’s Cherrybank HQ in 1998] “…leaves only those involved in production in Scotland, presumably a tiresome necessity rather akin to maintaining off-shore oil platforms… It fails to recognise the importance of the heritage required in promoting the world’s preferred spirit and smacks of commercial arrogance that wipes out carefully nurtured characters and flair for the sake of short-term efficiencies”.

• [on industry inertia: headline—‘The Brand and The Bland’] “Let us hope that global recession and the subsequent poor trading results are the only reasons driving the whisky industry into mediocrity rather than the new brand managers who, from the outside, appear to have reached their coefficient of inefficiency”.

• [on brand managers, (again)] “The smug new-breed brand manager must learn that it is the independents who have created the highly profitable niche market in malt whiskies – profits that he is in danger of destroying. Once the profits go, so does the excitement and, eventually, the interest: all branded toilet paper is the same”.

• [on Pernod Ricard] “LFW has yet to be impressed by Pernod (to be at least polite): evidence is that of volume over style, growth over attention, failing particularly in understanding customer expectations for single malts”.

• [on management] “Repeatedly the old guard bemoan the incidence of short-term appointments to key long-term, decision-making positions... many of them are moving on just as they realise that the whisky industry is unlike any other: a special, precious and delicate thing”.

• [on proprietors’ malt bottlings] “Unfortunately there remains a middle-tier of distillery owners (Bacardi, Allied, Pernod) who are under the illusion that they actually own their distilleries. Eejits! This is Scotland! You don’t own things here – you are merely custodians! These distilleries are not just component manufacturers for your blends! They are proud, individual enterprises driven by intelligent and conscientious communities born of a heritage that produced the world’s great doctors, soldiers, inventors…”.

THANKS

Throughout, the publication bears the imprint of its creator, Richard Joynson and also that of his wife, Lyndsay, who makes good her husband’s dyslexia and limited education—according to a recent book, he was once a fish. They are to be heartily congratulated on a magazine whose modest appearance belies its big heart, its good humour, its well-informed comment.

Keep up the good work, guys!