WELL KIPPERED! That’s it! We can go home now. Job done! A month ago we were inducted (induced?) as Members of The Keepers of the Quaich. I say we because it is down to the team at Loch Fyne Whiskies although it was I who collected the quaich, (and the scroll, and the medal, and the cummerbund) and the accolade. (More on page 10). I am delighted to be a Keeper. [Here’s the acceptance speech—jump this paragraph but do read on]. I was proposed by Iain Stothard—champion of our Heilan’ Banquets and also brand ambassador for Highland Distillers who sponsored me and I am both proud and grateful to be so supported by the foremost Scottish owned and based whisky company; thank you guys, very much. (The trick is to get yourself sponsored; you can pay yourself but that’s like buying a Knighthood—not the done thing). The Keepers is an interesting organisation. I confess to having become house-trained almost immediately as I now respect and admire their ambitions and ironic methodology. As a mortal, I had a belief that it existed to gratify those to whom marketeers wished to ingratiate themselves in order to secure a sale. At least it was until I became one! This reflects a perception problem held by many in the industry. “I’m disappointed,” was the comment of one on hearing my proud acceptance—and this from a Commander in the Special Services Section of the Scotch Whisky Promotion Corps. He considered that there were too many of the wrong types as Keepers; managers of pub chains for example—just how tireless have they been in the promotion of Scotch Whisky? These kippers are but a few red herrings. If there is a shortcoming of the organisation it is not in those who are members, but those who are not. Can’t we find a quick method to enrol those veteran soldiers who have for a long time passionately promoted Scotch from the ranks?